Loneliness is a part of my life. It has been for most of my life, but now it seems to be worse than other times. I don't live near family and homeschooling the kids leads to a great deal of time spent alone. I am dealing, not very well, with agoraphobia. The agoraphobia means that there are many days that I don't leave the house. Peter says that I'm timid, I say that I'm shy. Whatever it is, makes it harder for me to alleviate the loneliness.
The loneliness has gotten more extreme since being home from Houston and have recently been doing some research. I wonder if loneliness is a mechanism that the Lord uses to bring us closer to Him. Did you know that Elijah dealt with depression? He felt all alone and that he was all alone in following God. So did David, but I think his may have had something to do with his horrible decisions. Or maybe he made those bad decisions because of his depression.
I would love to say that know I am going to just focus on all the positive things in front of me, but that wouldn't be real. I tend toward seeing the hard things. Sometimes that's good because I am apt to see why those hard things are necessary and do whatever it required. And people being mean and saying unkind things does tend to get to me. That is sometimes all I hear.
I don't have all(or any of) the answers but I think that I need to try and focus on Psalm 27 for now. Fear really is son of a motherless goat to quote my funny husband.
2 comments:
JUst stopped in to say HI and tell ya we will see you tomorrow !! Thanks for the Chat last night.
I'm so sorry Ruth. I know what you mean about how homeschooling can keep you in too much. I feel that and yet at the same time feel called to it. The winters, I think, make it all that much more difficult to actually WANT to get out.
Praying that God hears the longings of your heart and fills them not only with himself but with joyful community and fellowship that keeps you from feeling lonely.
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