Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.This starts with my childhood. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to live an exciting life! I wanted to be able to dream and make them real. I, however, did not want to be a pianist. I am now an adult and that hasn't happened. I am not, nor will I ever be Col. Samantha Carter. Woe is me! I will never be fulfilled in life. I will never live my life on a RV (yes, I still think about that stuff, check out walk slowly live wildly). I knew that living in Houston forever was not for me, I needed to get out and far away. Call it rebelliousness, whatever you want, but I didn't want what my family wanted for me--to be boring, stay-at-home housewifey person. Doh! Can you hear the anger, the frustration? I blame it on MacGyver, that's it it's RDA's fault!
So there I was watching tons of TV to try and drown out the frustrations. I eventually decided that this wasn't good, so I said "be gone with you" to the TV. I found that soon after not watching TV anymore that I started to feel happier. The TV even looked longingly at me and said how can you be so without heart? I started blogging and that gave me hope. I, of course, was reading blogs of ladies who are satisfied with their lives and talk about what makes them happy. I thought to myself, what, for the love of ice cream, is wrong with me?
I was taking a shower this morning and realized that FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME I am someone to four people. I am in fact, still the most important person to them. Talk about a slow learning curve! About three minutes ago they were all in my room clamoring for my attention.
I have been unsatisfied, or maybe dissatified, the last day or so. I haven't figured that one out. I did more thinking about my underlying anger and then realized I was slowly involving my mind in something that makes me angry, but I couldn't do much about, like post. What, you say? Well, I'll tell you! I have been reading at Blogher. Oh, the shame! Let's get all the angry women and give them a place to argue, but it can't be on TV or it would be The View. (Hehe!) That's what Blogher is, at least in the politics area. So I have been subjecting myself to another way that makes me unhappy. Whoa, I just realized I have been harming myself with this stuff. Again, talk about a slow learning curve!
I realize that I need to confine myself to areas that have edifying ideas. And be around women who are happy to be at home or where they are in life. Thanks for the ear, I'll give it back eventually.