Crying

Crying is one of those things that can make me go crazy. As a mother this one of my great struggles. I have no idea why since most of the time I am on the verge of crying and feeling sorry for myself. I should clarify. If the kids are in pain I never feel frustrated. However when they cry when answering a question I have to fight to remain in control and not get angry. It feels like manipulation. And it frustrates me that they continue to do it even when I don't respond to it. And I'm talking pulling the hair out, running out of the room crazy. I have been known to raise my voice.

Today was one such day. Samuel spent a good portion of the day that whenever he spoke he started crying. I eventually sent him to bed for a rest until he was able to give me an answer to a question I asked him.

The whole point to this story is that it started making me think about God and how He feels when "we" (ME) always cry to him about life. When I am tired, frustrated, hungry, or disappointed I cry to Him about how hard life is. I wonder if He ends up wanting to treat me the way I deal with my kids. Maybe I'm in timeout. Because there has to be a reason I spend SO much time alone. Anyway, if you look at the Bible you don't read about how Jesus whines and cries about how hard it is to be human. Here you have the Lord of the ENTIRE universe walking around in human clothes dealing with the frustrations of being human but He didn't cry about everything. (I wonder if He felt depressed. I doubt it. Is depression a sin? Hm, maybe this a whole different blog post.) While Jesus did cry and asked to be released from what He had to do, He still did it.

I can't help but be reminded of how much God loves us when I am so weak that I cry to Him all the time and He doesn't yell at me.