a messy life

Our purplest tomato

2011-06-13T11:14:00.001-07:00

I just love this one. It's so dark! I'm growing it in our backyard this year. Amazingly, we had so much rain I haven't had to worry about it at all. I've just loved the rain! The Lord has really blessed us with rain here in the desert.

P&R Seeds

2011-04-12T10:12:00.001-07:00

Peter and I started a company a few weeks ago. We are both really excited. We are going to be selling Peter's anthocyanin tomato. It's healthy and really beautiful. I will have to take a picture soon. I thought that I had a photo on my computer, but Peter must have them all at work.

We are looking forward to the opportunities that this business will bring us. I am sure the Lord has plans to use this business. It's fun to see something new unfold!

I am also so amazed with who the man I married is and what he can do. He works hard at his paying job to do the tomatos on the side. And he spends time coaching Samuel's soccer team as well as the responsibilities he has taken on at church. Today is a long day for him. He left early this morning for work and won't get home until about 9 because he has a deacons meeting that he leads. Oh, and he teaches Abraham chemistry. What a blessing my man is!

Are we home?

2011-01-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

Esther just asked, "Are we home?" I had to pause and think about my answer. I really don't feel like I'm home. I still feel unsettled. We've been in this house for three years. It's the longest we've lived in one abode for our entire marriage. Maybe the lack to consistency has led to me being incapable of feeling settled. Logically, there is really no way out of this house for a long time. Larger houses in our neighorhood are on the market well below ours. During the winter I feel we are really stuffed in here.

Maybe I'm just not sure of what direction God wants me to go. Because I am sure he wants me to move my myself about, not just sit here and be. What does He want from my life? I sometimes feel like I am the only one with this question always on my mind. Peter sure knows what he's doing. I think this is why I've been silent on the blog. I'm feeling a bit aimless.

I'm having a hard time looking at my short comings. I think that's the real answer. And who likes doing that? But I did organize the pantry.

Cable

2010-11-15T10:26:00.000-08:00

We got cable again after not having it for a couple of years. I can't remember how long it has been. So for the past two months my brain has been on hiatus and I've been watching so much tv that my brain just started working again today. Crazy, right?! For awhile I kind of had an idea of what to post about but it seemed dumb so I didn't do anything. Then I realized that show with William Shatner is all about the guy just repeating what his father says to the world.

So that's what I've been doing. I've been watching stupid tv shows. And some awesome ones. I've really enjoyed Sanctuary this year. Castle is fun, but I've been figuring out the mysteries quickly. I've wanted to watch Burn Notice but Peter doesn't me to watch it without him and he's a season behind. Hawaii Five-O has been great fun. I just love it! Scott Caan is such a good actor. I love that they made him a father that really loves his daughter!

We're busy with school around here. I think that we will finally start doing so writing work in a few weeks. Samuel is almost completely done with his math for the semester. He is really starting to enjoy geography. Micah is doing really well in grammar and Wordly Wise. Abraham loves math and is really enjoying the addition of Life with Fred to math work. He gets very emotional when he doesn't do well on a test, but we are working on instilling the idea that failure is part of the learning process. Esther is loving playing with dinosaurs as though they are dolls.

So that's what has been going on around here.

Cooking

2010-09-17T15:28:00.001-07:00

I had someone ask me for a recipe that I haven't made in years. When I looked at the recipe I was surprised to find how much things have changed for me in the intervening years. Just looking at the recipe I remembered all the anxiety I had associated with making the dish. It was amazing just thinking back to what kind of cook I was 10 years ago. I remember being so concerned with the size of the garlic cloves in the recipe because it said small. I miss read the recipe the first time I made it and steamed -not stemmed- the jalapenos. I used all red tomatoes because my husband worried that the green tomatoes would kill people. Now I know it doesn't matter so much. I also am able to let things like that go a little bit. I'm still not great about letting recipes evolve but I now know that I don't need to be reminded to cover something before I put in the refrigerator. I also know that if I don't have the exact right type of onions available here(because let's face it, Idaho is not known for super developed palates-mine included!) it will be alright. It's onion Ruth, let-it-go!

Rest in Oregon

2010-07-24T14:51:00.000-07:00

We went for awhile to collect our ourselves. It is so easy to do when away. We just got back yesterday. It was such a lovely time. I have only played with a couple of shots. I didn't get nearly as many photos as I thought I would. It seems that I was just soaking in the trees.

We each did what we needed. The kids played until they could play no more. Peter read and felt peace. I spent a great deal of time day dreaming and feeling joyful. What a blessing this vacation has been!

Crying

2010-06-11T19:56:00.000-07:00

Crying is one of those things that can make me go crazy. As a mother this one of my great struggles. I have no idea why since most of the time I am on the verge of crying and feeling sorry for myself. I should clarify. If the kids are in pain I never feel frustrated. However when they cry when answering a question I have to fight to remain in control and not get angry. It feels like manipulation. And it frustrates me that they continue to do it even when I don't respond to it. And I'm talking pulling the hair out, running out of the room crazy. I have been known to raise my voice.

Today was one such day. Samuel spent a good portion of the day that whenever he spoke he started crying. I eventually sent him to bed for a rest until he was able to give me an answer to a question I asked him.

The whole point to this story is that it started making me think about God and how He feels when "we" (ME) always cry to him about life. When I am tired, frustrated, hungry, or disappointed I cry to Him about how hard life is. I wonder if He ends up wanting to treat me the way I deal with my kids. Maybe I'm in timeout. Because there has to be a reason I spend SO much time alone. Anyway, if you look at the Bible you don't read about how Jesus whines and cries about how hard it is to be human. Here you have the Lord of the ENTIRE universe walking around in human clothes dealing with the frustrations of being human but He didn't cry about everything. (I wonder if He felt depressed. I doubt it. Is depression a sin? Hm, maybe this a whole different blog post.) While Jesus did cry and asked to be released from what He had to do, He still did it.

I can't help but be reminded of how much God loves us when I am so weak that I cry to Him all the time and He doesn't yell at me.

Pictures

2010-05-31T12:29:00.001-07:00

This is one of my favorite pictures I have taken in the last couple of days. When I look at it on my camera or computer it's really pretty. Somehow this doesn't look as nice. I just can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, well. It's still nice. Here are some others.

The boys were pretending that they were refugees, or homeless, in the rain the other day. It was funny.

Here the guys are making breakfast on Saturday. Abraham is an excellent bacon maker. I think I will leave the bacon to Abraham until he leaves home. Then we will either have overcooked bacon from me, or someone else will save us. I'm hoping for the latter.

What to do with books

2010-05-15T14:04:00.000-07:00

Since we have started homeschooling the books in our house have started to breed. It seems as though every time I turn around there are more books. Right now half of my dining room table is covered with books. I eat on the corner of the table surrounded by books. And the bar is mostly covered with books as well. There are some on the floor too. We got two pieces of furniture last year to try and accomodate all of the new items that we have aquired for homeschooling. However it seems as though it is not enough. So today I spent some time perusing decorating blogs to see what other people use to hold their books. This is what I would love.

Restoration Hardware

Isn't it lovely? However, I noticed that people don't keep books in their front rooms. This is very confusing to me. I grew up surrounded by books pretty much everywhere. I think that these bookcases would be great in any living area. What better to talk about than books!

Mother's Day

2010-05-08T17:35:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers. I thought I would celebrate by sharing one of my favorite pictures of my oldest and youngest.

When I "fixed" this photo in Elements it wasn't nearly as light. The color difference will take a bit of getting used to.

Crazy thoughts about older childhood

2010-04-16T18:48:00.001-07:00

Disclosure: I had a colorful childhood with lots of interesting characters. If reading about AIDS and the like makes you uncomfortable, don't read.

I was reading somewhere else about the state of sex education in schools. I can't get over the fact that plenty of schools aren't teaching sex education at all. It's important. It scares you away from kids of the opposite gender! While they do reduce the chances, condoms don't prevent pregnancy. I know from personal experience. I have also come to discover that kids aren't having the begeebbers scared out of them with disgusting pictures. What's up with that? The drug needle pictures kept me WAY far away from drugs. And the STD pictures made me lose about 5 pounds and break up with my boyfriend. I wonder if graphic "stupid-teenager-driving -caused-this" videos are shown any more. I remember one where the stupid teenager killed a girl in his class and instead of going to prison he had to send her parents a check for 1 dollar every Friday. It made the guy crack up after 10 years.

But back to middle school. When I was in 6th grade I had a teacher die of AIDS. I didn't know it then, but my mom pointed it out to me the similarities surrounding his death and the things I had learned about AIDS. I think that she looked up his obit in the paper. He was my arts/drama teacher. He liked Michael Jackson, specifically "Man in the Mirror." I had never heard it before but it was a good song. I was supposed to lip sync a song in that class, but I think I remember him getting sick before it was my turn. During my sex ed class in 6th grade (I had one later in high school, it was the scary one) I remember the banana and the condom thing. But what I remember most was that my teacher couldn't find the ones to be used for the class so she went to go get one from her purse. What was she thinking?! I think she was trying to be provacative because she made a really big deal out of it. And I knew that she had just gotten divorced.

That middle school was really interesting. I learned a lot. Being sick and dying doesn't mean you can't still love what you do and feel passionate about it. Getting divorced can make you do really stupid things. And collecting frogs makes kids look at you like you're a frog. (My principal collected frogs and everybody thought she looked like a frog.)

It's His Love

2010-04-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep. Maybe it's the sugar high from all of today's various sugar sources that have turned me upside down since I haven't eaten much sugar for forty days. Or maybe it is because God has been keeping me awake to whisper His love to me. It's possible that it's that I'm awake so late that I can finally hear Him. During the day I run so hard to get away from various strains-anger, boredom, self loathing-the list could go on forever. But now in the still of night I hear Him, "I love you, my daughter. Why don't you believe me? I sent my Son for you. Remember today! Of all days, remember today!" Now I can.

So I have been up late tonight. I was reading another blog, Humble Pie, and was inspired by her to read my Bible. I opened to Psalms and throught the course of reading came to 142. I have read it many times over the last so many years. Crying out to Him in desperation for relief from my depression and other enemies. And for the first time in oh-so-many years, I'm not feeling bereft and left alone.

I just wanted to say it "out loud," to make it real. So many times, I think these thoughts have gone through my head, but I never caught them. They just flitted away because I let them. Not today. Today they are real, tangible. They are there to be seen and held closely, just as I am.

Some pictures from last week

2010-04-03T14:14:00.000-07:00

The boys went with Peter to work while I was a crazy person (actually cleaning!) this week. They were supposed to be doing school work, but instead they learned about engineering.

Samuel watched while his brothers went up in the front loader. There are pictures of them all the way up helping secure part of the new greenhouse. I didn't put them on here because grandmothers of various generations read here and I don't want to give them heart palpitations.

Esther fell asleep on the floor near her bed because, while being crazy cleaning lady, I forgot to give her a nap. But it was cute so I forgave myself and went to get a camera to take a picture.

Clouds around my house

2010-02-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

I enjoy looking at the clouds here in the desert. Since Peter gave me a tripod for Christmas I haven't had a chance to use it yet until tonight. When I was taking out the trash tonight I noticed the clouds. Awesome!

Look, it's a monster coming out the darkness! Ah! Run for your lives!

A tunnel.

This is the view across the street. This is the first view that made me want to take the pictures.

Just for health sake

2010-02-16T21:15:00.000-08:00

I'm not trying to be difficult, nosy or anything else.

Spinach has a plenty of folic acid, lutein, vitamin k and other minerals. It also has oxalic acid which prevents the body from absorbing calcium. Any calcium from other sources in your stomach at the same time as RAW spinach will not be absorbed. I am trying to get my calcium from raw kale and cooked spinach instead. Cooking spinach breaks down the oxalic acid.

The reason I am making this nosy point is that I have read about ton of female bloggers trying to drink a green smoothie everyday. So if you are drinking these smoothies, just know about the acid. Okay. Nose out.

Dreams

2010-02-10T18:57:00.000-08:00

The last couple of nights my dreams have had music accompaniment. This morning I was bound and determined to find the song flowing through the dreams like a river connecting one to another. I waited too long to sit down to find it and it drifted away. It was such a peaceful song. It gave me a real restful sleep. I wonder if that ever happens to others.

I have recently found a couple of singer/songwriters that are very comforting. For moments that I am craving a more complex sound I have been going to John Mark McMillan.

"A patriotic sound that incorperates bold stripped down blues with a voice reminiscent of Pete Yorn and a broken America"

HM Magazine

I am really enjoying Sarah McMillan. Yes, it's his wife. Their music isn't really the same. I have been turning to her music when I am feeling the need for quietness. I also am playing Sarabeth Geoghegan for the same feeling, but her music more folk like. I also love that she writes plainly. My favorite song by her is "Lord Deliver Me". Here are some lines...

Lord deliver me from me,
Lord deliver me from the desire to noticed, loved, exalted
Lord deliver me from the desire to be favored, popular, chosen or acknowledged
Lord deliver me from the fear of being long forgotten or ignored

Sometimes I just need to be delivered from myself and unto the Lord. I also like "Tired of Singing Sad Songs." Love it! Sometimes the sad songs just don't cut it and remembering what we are thankful for is a thing of beauty.

Oh, by the way blogspot went wicky in the wacky woo in the middle of this post. I can't figure out why the fonts are different. I would also love to know how to actually post the songs with the music. If any lovely person would like to explain it to me I'd be eternally grateful. However, I did link their websites.

Reading

2010-02-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

I have been reading the last couple of days. And each day I have gotten a pretty bad headache on the right side of my head. The strong, bright light is on my left side. I wonder if that could be reason. But the a ton of the pain is in the neck region. So it may the angle at which I read. I am quite upset. Does this mean that I can't read without getting a headache? I may just cry if that is the case.

I have been reading The Mortal Instruments series. I have been enjoying it. It's easy, which always fun, but it does deal with good and evil a bit. The way the author, Cassandra Clare, deals with good and evil is interesting. She even makes room for the grayer shades. She asserts that only demons, at least in this "world," are the only really evil things. Anyway, I think I may read the books again just to see if they would stand the test of time before buying them.

Tebow ad

2010-02-02T10:24:00.000-08:00

I'm pro-life. However, I recognize that women who decide to have their baby have indeed made a choice. To take that away that choice from someone is totally missing the whole point! The women choosing life are choosing a full future for someone else. How amazing is that! That as women we have the ability to shape the future in ways men cannot. It just brings tears to my eyes to think about the power God put into our hands.

I do understand people, women, feeling alarmed by the ideas that may have been talked about in the ad. Namely that men can tell women what to do with their bodies. However the ad doesn't discuss that. It's about the wonderful outcome of the decision Tim Tebow's mom made.

I found a great article by a pro-choice woman. Sally Jenkins makes many good points including that fact that his mom did in fact make a choice.

Peace begins in the womb, as Feminists for Life say. Choosing life is choosing the best thing for the women facing a difficult choice. But the abortion debate needs to also about young men being responsible. They have just as much to do with the issue of perventing pregnancy as women. I love the fact that Sally Jenkings mentions chastity as a good thing. Amazing!

Loneliness

2010-01-31T11:49:00.000-08:00

Is the emotion of loneliness a sin? I wonder if we experience loneliness as a result of not being in continuous relationship with God, which leads to sinfulness. Or is it just because the earth is not our home?

Loneliness is a part of my life. It has been for most of my life, but now it seems to be worse than other times. I don't live near family and homeschooling the kids leads to a great deal of time spent alone. I am dealing, not very well, with agoraphobia. The agoraphobia means that there are many days that I don't leave the house. Peter says that I'm timid, I say that I'm shy. Whatever it is, makes it harder for me to alleviate the loneliness.

The loneliness has gotten more extreme since being home from Houston and have recently been doing some research. I wonder if loneliness is a mechanism that the Lord uses to bring us closer to Him. Did you know that Elijah dealt with depression? He felt all alone and that he was all alone in following God. So did David, but I think his may have had something to do with his horrible decisions. Or maybe he made those bad decisions because of his depression.

I would love to say that know I am going to just focus on all the positive things in front of me, but that wouldn't be real. I tend toward seeing the hard things. Sometimes that's good because I am apt to see why those hard things are necessary and do whatever it required. And people being mean and saying unkind things does tend to get to me. That is sometimes all I hear.

I don't have all(or any of) the answers but I think that I need to try and focus on Psalm 27 for now. Fear really is son of a motherless goat to quote my funny husband.

Laundry, ugh!

2010-01-26T15:31:00.000-08:00

I dislike laundry! I wish there were a way to dress my kids without having to fold laundry. That is really the part that I dislike. I don't mind any of the other parts. Weird, right? I am trying to be thankful/grateful for the things I have instead of focusing of the negative. So, I am thankful that my kids are able to have more than one change of clothes. Maybe if I hold onto that I will be joyful while doing the folding. I may even watch a little TV. Our laundry couch is right next to the TV so it makes it quite easy to let my mind turn to mush.

Brain Drain

2010-01-19T15:12:00.000-08:00

*I am trying to find a good way to make sure that we get everything done that we need to get done each day. Since we have been back from Houston not everything gets done everyday. I thought about making check-off sheets for the older boys each day. But we don't do everything every day. I am plenty stumped about what to do. I am going to try this way for awhile and see if it works.

*In other matters, I am totally enjoying reading a Twitter account--specifically Adam Baldwin's. I agree with some of his ideas, but he is way strident. But he just begs for people to have discourse. I wonder if he actually follows through with his ideas, mainly regarding education. I wonder if his children go to public school.

*The boys are still enjoying martial arts. I found a list of good boy films at Mommy Life. I love finding blogs from veteran boy moms. She talks about not trying to stop boys from rough housing. I feel reasonably good about my rule--if you hurt yourself wrestling/rough housing don't come crying to me. It's worked pretty well, if I do say so myself. Now pardon me while I break my arm patting myself on the back.

*Peter is leaving for a trip tomorrow. Yay? It will be good for the kids to get out of the habit of thinking Peter will save them from school work when he gets home. But I will miss having Daddy come save me at 4:45.

*We are thinking about moving Esther to a big girl bed this or next week. There was a bed with a trundle on sale for a really good deal at Costco this week. (BTW, I ♥ Costco.) And now we also got a mattress.

*I just found out how to put that heart in up there. I am so excited!

*On Pat Robertson, Jennifer Moody an education reporter and blogger with the Mid-Valley newspapers in Oregon had some wonderful and constructive things to say.

This format is working well for me right now because I am a bit distracted. It's not too much pressure for me to have deep eloquent paragraphs upon paragraphs.

Am I a helicopter parent?

2009-11-19T14:28:00.001-08:00

I wonder if people think that we are because we are homeschooling. I wonder if real helicopter parents have kids who make satelites out of magnets. Sure, it's to destroy the enemy and maybe a planet, but I surely didn't help him. I realize the kids will need to be able to fail, and learn to get over those failures. But right now they are spending plenty of time creatively making up a world of their own. They often spend three or four hours a day playing. Kids use what they have learned and reinforce it within playtime. Dr. Stuart Brown from the National Institute for Play has recognized the importance of playtime in a Time magazine article:

managers at Caltech's Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) noticed the younger engineers lacked problem-solving skills, though they had top grades and test scores. Realizing the older engineers had more play experience as kids — they'd taken apart clocks, built stereos, made models — JPL eventually incorporated questions about job applicants' play backgrounds into interviews. "If you look at what produces learning and memory and well-being" in life, Brown has argued, "play is as fundamental as any other aspect.'' The American Academy of Pediatrics warns that the decrease in free playtime could carry health risks: "For some children, this hurried lifestyle is a source of stress and anxiety and may even contribute to depression." Not to mention the epidemic of childhood obesity in a generation of kids who never just go out and play

There is also concern from teachers that kids never learn to do their own work. Well, I can say that my kids do all their own work. I'm sure not going to it for them. As I write this Abraham is finishing his report on invertebrates. It may not be spelled completely correctly, so my decision is whether to have him correct it or let it be. I do sincerely struggle with this point. Is this when I should let go, or should I help him to understand that the work isn't done until it's perfect. But I also don't want to swoop in and fix it for him. With math I have them keep working on a problem until it is correct. That is how is works out in the world, you keep at it until it's right. Well, this may be a mental burp, but just the thoughts whirling around my head.

On another subject, Esther has learned how to say "down" and "thank you." And they actually sound like the words. Amazing, right?! Okay, so not so much. But I am happy that she is trying to communicate.

Halloween Pictures

2009-11-03T15:23:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from Halloween this year. Esther was a snowflake. She got food on her shirt to go under her tutu, so she just took pictures with the boys. Peter decided to dress up too. He said he got a lot of looks, but I think it's great he dressed up. Everybody should be able to pretend, not just kids! I am bummed the pictures are so grainy. Next time I will save them at a higher quality so that they look better. I didn't want to wait for them to upload.

Snow Pictures

2009-10-27T18:46:00.000-07:00

It took me awhile to get these pictures done and put up. These are from our first snow about a month ago. It was a wet snow so we were able to make snowmen!

Cooking music

2009-09-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

I have found that even though I do enjoy cooking, I end up inside alone while the other members of my family go outside to play with Peter. I often succomb to frozen things so that I don't have to be inside while they are having fun outside. The days that I listen to music while making dinner I end up making elaborate dishes and really enjoy the time alone. It may be sad that it has taken me TEN years to figure this out, but I'm going to look at the bright side that I did figure it out. Lately I have been listening to Mandisa. Which is pretty amazing since I have never watched American Idol. Not once, ever. Now that we don't have TV that isn't likely to change.

Today I listened to my music while making dough for pizza. And even though I forgot to get out the stand mixer before mixing ingredients(which means in Ruth's kitchen, no mixer), I still enjoyed my tricep workout while kneading the dough. It helps me immeasurably to have music on. I am going to be making the marinara after I hit publish. I'm thinking about a little Jonny Lang. Interesting tidbit, he's a Christian. (Sidenote:Why is his music never on the "Christian" radio stations? Or Mandisa for that matter?) His music is good for stirring and chopping.

And having music on always keeps my prefectionism at bay. I think that I may be enjoying myself too much to get too stressed out about not having coriander. Or cumin. I am ALWAYS out. Except for right now, I actually thought ahead and have cumin to spare. Not coriander. I don't think I've ever had coriander. But cardmom works just as well, at least when I'm carefree in the kitchen.

I wonder do you, valued friends, listen to music while cooking? Or is this just another way I'm weird? Wait-- don't answer that one, let me figure that one out.

County Fair

2009-09-06T19:46:00.000-07:00

On Friday we decided to go to the county fair. We had a good time and the boys all had fun on the rides. We didn't go see the animals which some may seem as though it were beside the point.

Sam got a bit scared by the roller coaster. Micah, as you can see, had a great time on the roller coaster.

Sam loved the bumper cars and wanted to drive the bumper cars several times.

Then Peter and the kids watched the alligator wrestlers while I went by the merchant booths. They got a picture with a baby alligator after the show.

Abraham had fun on one last ride before home. I didn't take any pictures of the food. There was a ton, but the best was grilled pork tenderloin Terry from church made and didn't sell. Lesson learned.

Homeschooling

2009-08-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

So we started school a couple of weeks ago. I haven't had the umph to take pictures, even if the camera was here. But it isn't because Daddy has to use to bring home the bacon. So the pictures will have to wait. I guess you all will live. BUT if you can't let me know and will take some pictures STAT with my handy-dandy phone.

Anywho, things have been going okay. I am not at all organized as far as planning our time within the day. I wonder if I should have an overall plan. At this point we hit the books and stop when we've hit all the subjects. We haven't started science yet, but I am going to incorporate that next week. So it will be history on Monday and Wednesday, then science on Tuesday and Thursday. With Friday afternoon off field trips, or playing. Right now the kids are playing, no field trip this week.

Yesterday we went to the library because the kids WANTED to go. Isn't that wonderful? I was happy enough with the request to go on a whim. I was more than a little disappointed with the selection again, but I need to keep in mind that we have lived in college towns until now. So in short, I done got over it. Hello interslice will you take my money? Okay, then we can have copies of kids versions of Gilgamesh, the Odyssey and the Iliad. I will have to use them for Esther anyway. But Abraham found other "fun" reading books. Micah found some books on foxes. We couldn't find any on polar bears. We were trying to find out what regions polar bears live in. Is it only North America? We may go see if B&N has any good polar bear books. And Samuel discovered Wishbone. And Esther cried because she can't read.

Next week I will try to think about having a schedule, but I am not going to have my mouth make promises my brain can't deliver.

7/7 and 7 years old

2009-07-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

My Micah is 7 years old today. He is such a unique child. He lets it all hang out, at least his emotions. And once you get him talking he just keeps talking, flitting from one topic to another. His smile is real and sincere. What a wonder he will be when he grows up! I get the feeling that he will be a zoologist or something. He loves animals, he always has. He is naturally funny. It has been my pleasure to be his mother. We are so blessed that God chose let us borrow him for awhile!

Tempting

2009-06-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today at the Boise zoo the boys were playing at the little playground there. At one point Abraham decided to climb up the slide. This was after being told not to. We didn't actually see him doing it, but Micah was caught doing it right after him. When confronted with his disobedience he responded with "Abraham tempted me!"

Just thought it was funny and wanted to share a laugh.

Boise

2009-05-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

So over Memorial Day weekend we went to Boise, well kinda. We planted watermelons on Monday, and by we I included myself this time. I helped Peter do the planting--in the greenhouse. But onto fun, we did this a little anniversery present to ourselves and made a family weekend of it. I only took pictures of one day because as I mentioned our camera is broken and were using Micah's. He hadn't recharged his battery and there were a ton thrown away to boot.

But we had a lot of fun! On Saturday we went to Cracker Barrel and then headed to the Discovery Center. The interactive items were mostly about kinetic energy. The boys enjoyed manipulating all the displays.

This is not your typical arcade grab the toy game. It was an actual robotic arm with shoulder and elbow joints included. Micah did much better than I did. Who's surprised? No raised hands, hmm.
This was, umm--I can't remember, but I did have to pull him away from it.
Esther's favorite item. She was learning about being even cuter, oh wait-- no, it was reflections.
Abraham learning about centrifugal force.
Esther spending more time being cute. When I shot this I thought, "What if there really were four of her?" Mommy would be in big trouble!
If you look closely you can see the bubble that Samuel is blowing. The kids really liked this one.
Then we stopped by some friends' house. They moved to Boise in December. They are all really happy there. It was nice to see how settled and happy they are, as well as getting a chance to visit.

Then we checked into our hotel and went to Red Robin for dinner. It was a hit with everyone!

I didn't get any pictures from Sunday(the battery problem), but it was mostly shopping and swimming. We got some Krispy Kremes before we left Boise. It was nice to get some real donuts, but they aren't as good as Dunkin'.

What a guy!

2009-05-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was water day at Samuel's school. I didn't get any pictures for two reasons. One is that Esther was asleep when I dropped Samuel off. The other is that our camera's main lens is broken. It's been breaking for awhile, about 2 years, and now won't work at all. So there are no pictures from the water day to show.

During water day the kids are encouraged to bring squirt guns to play with. I saw this a couple of years ago. It doesn't turn out well because the older kids get self-important, take the younger kids guns, and just decide that they deserve them. This happened to Samuel's friend, Alex. So yesterday when I went to pick Samuel up his teacher stopped me to tell me she was very proud of Samuel. When this happened to Alex he was too afraid to go up the 4th grader to get his gun back. So Samuel went with him. But that's not all! Samuel went up to the 4th grader looked him in the eye and said "That's his gun." Then he just stood there looking at him until the 4th grader gave Alex his gun back.

What a kid! He was so brave and stood up for what was right without getting violent or yelling or crying! We must have done something right! It just goes to show that the truth is a powerful thing, and saying the truth can affect change. I am such a coward about saying the truth so often, I suppose I could learn a thing or two from Samuel!

Sick

2009-05-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

We've all been sick for awhile now. I have some wonderful pictures to put up, but somehow sleeping has been the priority for last bit. I am happy to say that Esther now has long enough hair to put into pig tails. VERY CUTE!

I just heard this

2009-04-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

Micah--Your eyes are the last part that are built.

Samuel--Oh

Micah--Yes, the inside parts are there, but not until you are born you can see them.

Samuel--Oh

Micah--Then you want cheddar bunnies

Samuel--okay

I can't decide if they are playing pretend or just really confused. I didn't want to bother them.

Playing with black and white

2009-04-20T21:48:00.000-07:00

I wanted to try something new with Elements. Peter's picture looked a ton better when I had it surrounded by black. I definitely like the lower picture better. Better contrast. The top one has too much sky and not enough contrast. I used two different methods of conversion to black and white. The lower method wins hands down for me. What do you think?

Raised veggie beds

2009-04-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

We recently made some raised beds for veggies in our backyard. Okay, it was really Peter. I think the idea of me with a power tool terrifies him, but he was nice and said that it was my job to make sure Esther didn't get in the way. If you want a how to and wonderful, helpful pictures go the Pioneer Woman's page on building your own raised beds. If you want to laugh and not really be informed stay here.

Okay step one in our version is be Dutch. Go ask business landlord for some really old wood from a building that he is tearing down. You didn't have to buy any wood, what a good Dutch person you are! Next completely forget to take pictures of the pile of really old wood. Isn't that easy. Okay, now that we are this far let's jump to laying out the wood for where you might want it to go.

As you can see we decided to put ours in the corner. And I made sure to get a toy and some trash in the picture to make sure you know this is our yard and I didn't sneak into someone else's yard and pretend that we are industrious. Peter put the drill in to show he was going to be part of the project.

You can see here the pitfalls of being Dutch. You get wood with jagged edges and have to make your bed smaller than you may have wished. But the wood won't warp, it's been prewarped for you. Now comes the tricky part, you have to leave it there for and get carried away with real life. I know it's hard, but in order for this to work you have to coach soccer and make money to eat. There have to be Easter egg hunts.
Now that your week of doing other things has gone by you can get back to work. Make one bed without your wife even noticing, aren't you awesome now! Next call her outside to show her the ripping apart of a door from the torn down building.

Doing work stealthy can make for disjointed pictures, but we aren't professionals so it doesn't matter. Next your wife has to forget that she is supposed to keep taking pictures and goes inside to make dinner. Next thing you know have built two beds and there aren't any more pictures of work being done. It can make you seem like magic. You sure are awesome now!

Now add soil that you get from the same landlord for free again.

Now the raised beds are ready for veggie seeds. And you have a very appreciative wife.

I have learned alot from this little adventure. I really appreciate what Peter does around the house. And I also learned that I have to take more pictures and they have to be closer to the work being done. Oh, and I need to keep the yard picked up better. Peter was a full cooperater in this and no Dutchmen were harmed in the making.

Link-Am I my neighbors keeper?

2009-04-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

An old friend and smart guy (but what else would one expect from an Aggie?), John Ferguson has likened our political life to the Good Samaritan in his blog post "Am I my neighbors keeper?". He really has put a new spin on it. I would encourage you to read it.

Tea Party

2009-04-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

Just one note about the sign--we didn't write it and I thought at the time it was talking about big corporations. I was very impressed with our tea party here in Twin Falls. There wasn't any racism and it was very positive. I also liked that the first speaker acknowledged that our speaking out now and not under Pres. Bush is hypocritical. There should have been more outcry then. However, now is when the camel's back was broken. Please don't leave any nasty or condisending comments. I also think that it is true that this is not a partisan issue. Both houses of Congress are being irresponsible and corrupt. I need to speak up and say that our President does not create the laws, he creates policy. So this national protest should not have been focused so much on him. God gave us this President, what do we have to learn here?

The Truth can be Beautiful

2009-04-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

Peter and I watched a new documentary The Beautiful Truth. It was very informative as well as appalling that the truth and medicine has been co opted by power and money hungry individuals. (There is one thing that I would preface it with, I think one of my distant family members tried this and he didn't live. However, I wonder if he did the coffee enemas. I know that he drank and ate carrots. I was quite young and not sure what exactly he was doing.) Did you know that Donald Rumsfeld worked for Searle? What the nut? Why the heck was he the Secretary of War or whatever if he was in the pharmaceutical industry? Seems backassward to me. And he was the head when they developed aspartame. Now I'm unhappy. Seems they pushed that puppy through.

Okay, the first point. Dental health is important. The filling amalgam that dentists use has MERCURY in it. When we saw that the amalgam continues to emit mercury vapor for at least 50 years Peter just about had a heart attack. He opened his mouth and I was just about blinded by the silver it contains. So now he wants to get his fillings removed. So if anybody knows a dentist qualified and willing to remove them he would be most appreciative. According to this film if a dentist is willing to do this he will be run out of the business and be sued. Now here is where is gets really crazy. A study was done on the dental techs in Norway and most of those young women in the study ended up with fertility problems as well as other problems. So don't let your teeth get to the place where fillings are needed.

I'm just going to lump the other points together because I really think the film is worth watching by everybody. The second point was deficiency. The processed foods we eat routinely aren't giving us the nutrition we need. DUH! What is worse is that MSG is in almost all of them. They call them glutamate. It affects not only how things taste but also turns our brains full sign off. So it's not just sugar that is the root of our weight problems. This was where Donald Rumsfeld and his political ilk came in and I have to say I blacked out with anger for a minute. It seems much of the policy that is made BY BOTH PARTIES is for financial reasons not about the people's health.

Then there was Dr. Gerson. I think that my grandfather must have read his book because I can remember him talking about some of this stuff. Maybe both grandfathers were familiar with his work. Basically Dr. Gerson said that cancer can be cured by eating a vegan diet for a period of time as well as getting coffee enemas and drinking freshly squeezed carrot juice. There were many other things that can cured by this as well including autoimmune diseases. There was plenty of qualitative research to show. I wonder if there will ever be any quantitative research done on this as a viable was to treat cancer. That would prove most informative.

I watched it on Netflicks instant. Bottom line is that I would definitely suggest this to everyone to see. I may watch it again sometime. Who wants to come over for some organic snacks and watch it?

Easter

2009-04-13T09:31:00.001-07:00

Addiction is bad

2009-04-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

So where have I been? I have been detoxing from Diet Coke. It seems that being addicted to something for more than 10 years can make a person grumpy and tired for the longest time. I was feeling better on Sunday then I decided that coffee would be okay. I was hyper then grumpy. And on Monday for a wonderful treat I got to start the day with a headache. It ended at about 7pm. So I'm off caffiene completely now too.

I also have been without a camera. Peter was using it at work. So I didn't get any pictures of the boys first soccer game of the season. Or the first days of play outside weather. I hope to be feeling more energetic next week. And to have my camera back.

Living Lovely with Family-Special Times

2009-03-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

Our favorite time of the year is summer. We spend more time outside and doing fun things. It's also when special treats are most likely to happen!

The boys go to soccer camp and have fun being crazy with friends. The last day they get to have their faces painted by Mom! Last year was flags, so we decided on flags from the state where they were born.

They play baseball and have fun learning about teamwork. I LOVE baseball, so it's fun to get to watch some with my favorite players!

Sometimes we go for ice cream from an actual ice cream store. The boys love the variety and cones.

We go to an airshow. Too bad there isn't a picture of Daddy looking at the planes. He's the one who taught the family to love planes.

Since we live far from family we enjoy the special treat of spending time with them when they are in town for special occasions like Thanksgiving.

Heidi at Mt. Hope Chronicles is continuing her series on Living Lovely with Family. I am so glad to have this as a chance to look our life, to remember and realize what fun we have together. Hop on by her page and see what others are saying, it's truly inspiring and fun to get a peak into others lovely.

One Year Old

2009-03-20T07:10:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was Esther's birthday, but since we continued to have internet difficulty I wasn't able to post them. Oh, well. At least when the internet does work, it works fast! It was fun to find these amongst the pictures from the last year.

I have been blessed with a wonderful, beautiful daughter. We opened her presents last night. One was a tea set from us. It was so fun watch her play with it. Girl fun to be had!

Oh, the internet!

2009-03-18T08:12:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of days we have been without internet. On Sunday our internet worked for about 5 minutes. Then on Monday we decided to switch providers. Because of that we had to wait until Tuesday to have it hooked up. So today I have internet again. I am grateful because we have been battling the internet for a couple of months now. Also I am amazed how quickly the new internet was connected. When we lived in Florida it took two weeks just for the cable people to call me back. Then another couple of weeks for them to come and connect the cable/internet.

Morning Talk

2009-03-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

Samuel and I have had some fun time together this morning because Esther is taking an early nap. We were listening to some music and one song was said that God will never leave us. Samuel and I were talking about it. His response for why God will never leave us is that He is invincible. I wonder if in some part of his mind Samuel thinks God is a superhero.

So many people see God as a kindly grandfather who says, "It's okay, don't worry about that sin. I've taken care of it. You don't owe me anything." While that's a nice and true enough, one doesn't think that their grandfather is invincible. I tried to explain to Samuel that God is more than invincible. How do you explain to a 4 year old that God has more facets to him than just one? I want him to have a dynamic faith that includes a full picture of God, not just a small box that feels comfortable.

Daily Family Life

2009-03-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

Heidi at Mt. Hope Chronicles is having a series about living lovely with family. Today is about our daily lives. The last couple of months I have been trying to live with intention. Before now I never would have thought about the time spent with my family. We don't have many wonderful, brand new traditions, but we do eat dinner together nightly and read the Bible at the table once we are done. The boys usually ask for more than one story to be read. That makes me feel as though we are making an impression on them. For awhile our attention was diverted to other things, but Peter and I have recently been having discussions about how to have more intention filled relationships with the kids.

Better

2009-03-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was in a funk. I just could not get out of it. I complained within myself, I complained to those who would listen, I grumped. It was not pretty. There was much anger and frustration coming from within me. I am REALLY ready for spring. The snow and cold and is starting to get to me. Since it seems that spring is not on the horizon for us I decided to buy myself some spring yesterday. It was a good price at Costco, you can go get yourself some spring there too.

A little Madness in the Spring

Is wholesome even for the King

Emily Dickinson

Isn't my store bought spring wonderful?

Some Fun

2009-03-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah!

2009-03-05T16:14:00.000-08:00

So the mechanic called Peter today to let him know that we will be getting a NEW transmission. Hallelujah!! Isn't that wonderful?! The Yukon is still under extended warranty and we will only have to pay a very small deductable to have it completely replaced. They wanted to try and rebuild it, but that would have cost them too much money. It was cheaper just to completely replace the entire thing. The wiring was bad and didn't let us know there were problems so it got completely destroyed. The mechanic would have had to replace all the parts save the casing. The Lord really protected us on this. We would not have had the ability to replace it otherwise. Yeah for extended warranties!!

Will I ever learn?

2009-03-02T18:51:00.001-08:00

So it's 8pm here and my kids haven't eaten! Yes, I know I'm a bad, bad mommy. There are extenuating circumstances. One is that I couldn't go shopping for food until 6pm because we were down to one car today. Our Yukon is having a tizzy and decided that the transmission had to go. So we are waiting while her tempermental self gets a new one and can be driven again. Tomorrow I will have a vehicle so dinner won't be so late, maybe.

Back to the dinner lateness. We went shopping late. I knew that I wanted to try a new recipe, chicken tetrazinni. I had chicken left over from chicken soup and there's only so many sandwiches I can make myself eat. I usually try to have all my chopped things chopped and minced before I turn any appliance on. I'm just not that good to chop and watch things, especially in a new recipe, at the same time. So Peter stood in as a sous chef. Talk about different styles! He's bucket chemistry, I'm precise. Sometimes I will tamper with the amounts, but only if I have made the dish before and have a pretty good idea about the taste ratios.

So the dinner turned out okay. Not enough flavor, but that's because of differing styles by the cookers. If there had been less chicken and linguini then it might have tasted better. Oh, well. Now I have learned to do it myself. I should have made this tomorrow and had sandwiches for dinner. I guess you live and learn. Now if I could just learn a bit more often.

The ridiculous law has been made useful

2009-03-02T07:34:00.000-08:00

So the CPSIA law that got my feathers all a fluff has been suspended, kinda. What the commission has decided to do is to not enforce the law with anyone making items out of natural materials. I knew natural was better. LOVE COTTON! I am pleased to see that our system of government has worked, at least for now.

I really wanted to buy things online, but I didn't. I have a hard time actually buying things online, sometimes even in stores. I'm odd like that. So it took me two months to actually buy a carseat cover for Esther. But I finally did. I love it. She loves it. She spent time yesterday just playing in her carseat while it was inside getting it's makeover.

I got it on etsy. The seller, Lollipop designs, emailed a few days before she sent it out. It was a great experience. I am so happy to have a girl cover for a carseat we bought for Samuel. And the picture does not have a tungsten glow. The cover has a yellow background. I will definately be using etsy again. Mainly since I don't know how to sew dresses yet.

Everything's Amazing

2009-02-27T09:44:00.000-08:00

Louis CK said on Conan O'Brien, "Everything's amazing, nobody's happy." (I urge you watch the video at the link.) We have so many wonderful things available to us. We live in a very prosperous country, even if we are having some hard times. I still think that things may get harder, but we still fly through the air. We have cell phones and internet. We have the ability to talk to more openly than ever before about difficult, sensitive subjects. I don't think that unplanned pregnancy was talked about in newspapers (or even in families) in the 1950's! We have a black president in a country that went to war over slavery just 150 years ago. The British haven't had a black prime minister. And they practiced slavery as well! We have washing machines and soap that doesn't burn your hands while doing the wash. I can't believe I complain about doing laundry. My great-grandmother would box my ears if she heard it.

Is the stimulus bill a hard one to swallow? Yes. Is it the end of the world? NO! The mortage bailout plan is hard too, but we will all live. We may lose some freedoms, but maybe that's good. It, hopefully, will help us realize what we have lost. Then we will have a chance to fight to get those things back.

Isaiah 58:6-11

2009-02-25T19:21:00.000-08:00

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

To loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed freee and break the yoke?

Is it no to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-

when you see the naked, to clothe them,

andn not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

the your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

The you will call, and the Lord will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression,

with the pointing of finger and malicious talk,

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

Then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday.

The Lord will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well watered garden,

like a spring whose waters never fail.

Look what I made!

2009-02-24T21:50:00.000-08:00

(EDIT:This is a tutu. Thanks for pointing that out Mom!:) I wouldn't have realized my mistake!) It is a bit too big for Esther since I tied the knots too big, but that can be fixed. I also learned that the best tulle for these are found on spools. The internet is so wonderful! Much less cutting is required since the spools are 6 inches wide. I think that I can even wrap it in ribbon. How wonderful will this be?!

I have to thank my lovely model. My pearl barley container stood in for a form since I have none! Too bad I haven't figured out how to get the orange out of photos taken indoors at night! This is the result of trying to fix the color after the fact in Elements. Though I did figure out that my card is not big enough to shoot in camera raw.

He's 9!

2009-02-22T21:31:00.000-08:00

He's half way to adulthood. Have I taught him everything he needs to know? Will he be the man God wants him to be? How am I going to finish the job correctly? He is such a wonderful boy, I so much desire for him to be a strong Godly man.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

When he was born this was the verse we had on his wall in his nursery. I think it's fitting for his life. What an amazing promise!

Reluctant Mother

2009-02-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

I finally did the Facebook "first born quiz." I have to say that I have been putting it off because of the shame that goes along with my memories of my first pregnancy. Abraham wasn't planned. He was a "honeymoon" baby. I got pregnant within weeks of getting home. I was embarrassed and angry. I saw all my plans went up in smoke.

Before we got married I told Peter I didn't want kids. Funny how things work out, huh? I realized that kids take a ton of work and I believed that kids need a stay at home parent. I say this not to shine a light on others parenting, but to inform you of how I came to my emotions. I had all these plans for life that didn't include kids. I made the immediate decision that I was going to keep going to school and have my career. Too bad my stomach didn't agree. Within days of finding out I started having "morning sickness." What a cruel lie, you know what I mean? I actually had all day and all night sickness. When I had my next appointment a week later to have the first meet the nurse time I had lost 10 lbs. I eventually went into the hospital the first week of school. I had to withdraw from college which essentially ended my plans for a career.

Somehow I decided that I would be a good mom to a girl. I spent almost every moment after I found out I was having a boy trying to deny the truth. Eventually I decided that he was going to be someone special. Happily that part turned out to be true. During that time I was so scared that I wouldn't love him enough. Happily I was wrong.

When Abraham was born I felt a whoosh of love. It felt like it was pouring out of me in a warm encapsulating hug. I wonder even now if God was showing me in just a small portion of His love for us. I know that it can be explained away with some doctor prattling on about hormones or something like that, but I've had three other kids and it never happened again. Having Abraham changed me in a profound way. I wanted to be a good mother rather than just getting by and existing.

On Monday I spent the day with the kids playing, doing laundry and truly enjoying them. It helped me remember and reflect on my journey so far as a mother. What joy God has given to me in the form of four children! The person I was 9 years ago would be so surprised at who I am now. I am an unabashed mother who finds such great joy in my role as mother. I lost it for awhile, but I am so glad to be back in this place.

Waterford

2009-02-13T08:46:00.000-08:00

The first time I saw this village ten years ago I was sad. Not because of any emotional thing but because I didn't have a camera. Fortunately this time I brought a camera. And I am so pleased that it didn't change in the past ten years. The city is starting to encroach but hopefully the village will be able to keep it at bay for as long as possible. It was in 1733. The first thing I noticed ten years ago was the height of the doors. And the charm of the village spoke to me in general.

This is the schoolhouse there, I wonder if the children might still use the school.

Look at how short the doors are on these houses. Most of the houses in the village were built before 1840. These I believe were most likely built before 1800.

Going on a trip!

2009-02-02T07:46:00.000-08:00

I get to go see my mom in Virginny. Actually I will quite close to DC. Be still my beating heart! I always wanted to say that even though it is not really applicable here. I am so excited. I most likely won't get to go do any touristy things, but just being there somehow brings history to life. And this time I will have a camera with me. Oh, the fun! I can't wait to take wonderful, beautiful pictures of our awesome capital. I have been trying to talk Peter into moving to DC since we got married. Poor guy, he thinks I'll stop one day. I am taking Esther and Samuel there with me. They have second cousin's once removed or something like that there. I will have to figure that out. Oh, and I get to see my cousin Abby. What joy! It's been 7 1/2 years. She in 6 weeks younger than me and we grew up together. I am beyond excited.

There is only one hitch. I am totally entrenched in a "western" (Ruth slang for underdeveloped) wardrobe. Oh, the shame! I mostly have fleece, yoga pants and tanks. Okay so I have a bit more, but not much. Well, I will just have to keep my "good" clothes mess free to be in optimum usage. Right? Right!!

Odds and ends

2009-01-30T07:33:00.000-08:00

Last week when I decided to start eating a diet without comfort food I realized that I would need to write about to keep myself accountable. This week has worked out pretty well. I have made dinner every night except Wednesday because we had Logos. And they make healthy food, so I didn't feel bad. I have had some not so good food come out of my kitchen. I had a hard time getting the pork chops right, which I used to do quite easily. That tells me how lax I have gotten about making real food. Another thing I noticed is that my husband enjoys even my bad food. The kids, not so much! But we are learning together. I made some lentils, which honestly I don't have a love for. However I will be making them again. Peter really enjoyed them, I liked the squash I put in them and a small amount is filling. Last night I made a yummy kale and avocado salad. I think that it might make a weekly appearance on my meal plan, at least for myself. The kids even ate it. I made chicken to go with it, but for myself I don't think I will.

I have decided on most of the curriculum that we will be using next year. Right now my concerns lay in art and music. We don't have a piano and I have not an artistic bone in my body. I think I will seek out an art class for the kids. Thanks for all who encouraged me on our quest! I didn't even get a your crazy comment, but that may be due to the fact that not many read here. Oh, well, C'est la vie and que sera, sera.

This snowy day

2009-01-27T09:36:00.000-08:00

It is 10 degrees outside right now. Esther, Samuel and I are hanging out doing laundry and learning some. I am doing more learning than my kids. Samuel is playing "constructor" and Esther is learning to type. I learned not to lighten pictures too much, maybe. The top is the lighten copy and the bottom is SOOC. I can't decide which one I like better.

Here is Samuel playing dress up. I seem to be having a hard time correcting things. This seems too light as well. I will have to work on it more. I just used the quick fix option and it looks quite different here than it did in my window on my computer. It seems that I have much more to learn.

Pictures from Peter's trip

2009-01-22T08:21:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures from Peter's trip. The pictures are descending in order date wise. The pictures start in Israel and end in Turkey.

Other exciting news

2009-01-21T10:24:00.000-08:00

Now that Peter is home we have decided to let people know some other news. No, we are not having another child! We have decided to homeschool the kids next year. Exciting, right?! I know it will be tons of work and I am going to get a huge I told you so from various people, but I can deal with it. And plenty of questions like are you crazy and the like, but I'm up for those too.

Samuel and Micah are excited. Abraham is aprehensive, mostly about not having as much socializing available to him everyday--all day. It will be a challenge, but I am looking forward to spending more time with the boys and getting to see them learn. We decided to use The Well Trained Mind model of classical education. I am also excited to learn along with the kids. There many things I didn't learn over the course of my public education and my unfortunately shortened, unfinished college education. One day I'll go back, college was fun! We are not in this to get our kids ahead of schedule or keep them completely protected from the world. For awhile I thought about afterschooling, but by the time the kids got home they didn't want to sit still any longer and needed the time to get outside and play.

Right now I am trying to decide on curriculum. It's hard because there is so much good and interesting stuff out there. I am currently trying to figure out language arts. I think that science will be just as hard to decide on because that is the main subject the kids will want to do.

So if you want to tell me I'm crazy, that's fine, but it won't change my mind.

A storm brews

2009-01-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

On Saturday I had a wonderful morning filled with enjoying my children. Then around 5pm it hit, the loneliness. My very strong emotions tend to be actual, physical pain. It hits in the chest and then spreads out. In order to quell the raging sea, to silence the sure tears, I ran to my drug of choice, food. As I pondered what I wanted I heard a small, quiet yet insistent voice say "the come down is going to be so much worse." But on I went. And sure enough the come down was horrible. Crying ensued, safely after the kids were in bed, of course.

I couldn't fall asleep until nearly three. In the hours between the kids bedtime and when I fell asleep I took stock. However, I wasn't planning on it. God just kept putting the truth in front of me. I started reading one book and came upon a truth I did not want to deal with. So I turned to the Bible, yet here was another. Then I remembered reading on a blog about another thing I didn't want to hear. At about 2am they all came together to say changes are a comin', if I am to be refined by God's hand. And boy are they going to be hard, but clearly worth it.

One thing I can say is that Peter being gone for as long as he has been gone has been good, at least for me. If he had come home a week ago I would not have made these discoveries. And they were sorely in need of coming to light.

I am by nature an impulsive person. For the last ten years I have been filting from one thing to another. In the past month or so I have discovered that I need to live my life with intention. And make decisions with intention, not just because all other options have passed. It is time for me to finish growing up.

One of the things I dealt with the other night was my eating habits. I read on Walk Slowly, Live Wildly about our bodies being temples. This post made me question my self on how can I worship God in my craptastic temple of a body. It does effect how I feel about myself and my ability to worship God. There is the ever voice of displeasure my physical state. Is every action of ours a way that we are supposed to honor and worship the Lord? If so then eating should be too, right? So, all this to say that, I am going to start eating in a not just controlled way but with worship in mind. (I should probably read the fasting section of Celebration of Discipline.) Somehow, with this in mind the idea of eating mostly fruits and veggies doesn't seem like such a sacrifice. While I am not ready to go vegan or even vegetarian, I believe that I need to limit my drug-like comfort foods.

There are other things that I discovered the other night, but I need to wait until Peter gets home to sort them out completely.

Good friends

2009-01-16T22:02:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful time and break this afternoon and evening. It's the only reason that I was able to do my earlier post. It's always wonderful when people take pity on me, really--I'm not joking. After being on my own for a week and half I was getting to my wits end. Well, more like just crazy tired. So my friends, Kathy and Phil, offered to take the boys to the local jumping on inflated things place. Afterwards we were invited to their house for dinner and wii. It was so nice to have a break. And more importantly, having people around to have pity on me(and noticing when my purple circles under my eyes turned black).

So thanks guys. I really appreciate it.

Bad juju, and some who cares

2009-01-15T09:35:00.000-08:00

So I went to Target yesterday morning. I was being a good wifey, not spending needlessly. I had to get essentials and cheap birthday gifts for kids for the year. Once a year they put the extra Christmas toys on super-extreme clearance. There were a ton of us crowded trying to get some good deals. I noticed a group loading up a ton of stuff into mulitple carts. I stuck my big nose where it didn't belong and asked who they were to others around me. Apparently they do this every year. This group buys the stuff on clearance at Target and then sells it for full price on ebay. So I guess that's the way capitolism works, but I won't be buying anything from those guys. Why would I pay full price when I could get it, theoretically, cheaper at my local Target? So I'm just not gonna buy stuff on ebay from people around here, well toys at least.

I am pleased to announce that Peter should be home next Tuesday. Or maybe it will be Wednesday, it depends on what time he leaves Germany and if everything is on time. I am looking forward to him being home. The kids are too, though Samuel did ask if Peter was moving for two years.

On an unrelated note, I found out today that doing some socialization in the morning followed by hanging with my girls (Esther and Reveille) makes me a much happier mommy. I really didn't need much, just talking to Samuel's teacher for 3 minutes did it for me. Interesting, huh?

I'm done

2009-01-13T08:43:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I'm done with my husband being gone. I realize that others have it harder, their husbands are in the military and are gone for months at a time. I married a plant breeder. I didn't marry a superhero. He's wonderful, so I'm not saying that to demean him in any way. But when we got married his unrealistic promise was that he wouldn't travel at all. We were so young and stupid. (It reminds me of my Grandpa Abie's promise to not die before Grandma Joy.) How can a person make a promise like that and keep it? I love that he is endeavoring to keep his promise, but it was unrealistic to begin with. So I in my "I'm so above it" way have let him out of that promise. I'm the superdeduperest wife ever, right?!

Let me tell you how wonderful he is. He lets me sleep in most of the time right now. He is funny in his own special goofy way, which is a wonderful way to keep me real. I love that as grown up and driven as he is, his favorite Christmas gift was the Nerf supercool gun he got himself. He likes to play Nerf gun battles with his boys. How awesome is that?! And he usually doesn't even shoot me in the rear! He likes my crazy way that I get all riled up about some seemingly insignificant idea. He even enjoys the arm waving and everything! It may be that he's laughing at me, but I think he likes that I surprise him when, and at what, my crazy comes out. Well, that's enough of a peek at his awesomeness.

Back to the original reason for the post, I miss him terribly. I feel so alone without him around. It helps that he calls, but it really isn't the same. We have another week until he comes home and I can't wait. I talked to him a bit ago and he is fine. There is some Lebanese dessert that he choked down in Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan that he had this evening in Israel that tasted good there. (Did you understand with the thats?) The way he told the story was funny and I was glad to hear his humor and laugh. I never noticed how much I enjoy his company until now. He is truly my best friend, how blessed am I to have married someone so wonderful. It's amazing really, when we wed nearly ten years ago, we had only known each other for almost 6 months. God really had His hand in our lives.

I tried to find a picture on my computer to photoshop to make look even awesomer, but I took some really horrible pictures over the last month. I can't even photoshop them to make them look good.

The tiredest I've ever been

2009-01-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

Okay maybe not. But I sure am close. I suppose it was when Micah was 8 months old and had not slept through the night yet. If anybody saw my eyes, or rather the gigantic, black bags under my eyes they would be horrified.

Peter is in the Middle East right now. He is on his way to Lebanon as I write this. He left Turkey about an hour ago. The boys definitely miss him, but I miss him more. I hope he stays safe, but according to him he should be safe. Why, you ask? Well, because he is with Manfred. Somehow the bombs will be bouncing off Manfred. I am underwhelmed with the decision of them to give money to Lebanon just by going there.

Anyway, Peter will be home in about two weeks. We are managing just fine. Though I am REALLY looking forward to this weekend. I will be able to sleep when needed. Having Peter gone with a baby is a lot harder here. In Oregon I had the indoor park to go to. It just helped to be able to go somewhere, talk mom talk and kinda veg where the baby was safe. Esther is into everything all the time, which is normal but quite hard when exhausted. The most surprising part so far was when someone asked when my mom was coming to help. I was actually mature and said "she's busy with her own life, we will be okay on our own." I love my mom and would love to have her here, but I don't expect her to come bail me out.

It's been interesting to see how the boys have reacted to Peter being gone. They have been doing role playing with Abraham being the dad. Samuel has related Peter's being gone to his best friend's absence from school. Esther hasn't noticed that much, but she hasn't learned permanence completely yet. Reveille really misses Peter, but that isn't surprising is it?

National Bankruptcy Day

2009-01-03T07:52:00.000-08:00

The new CPSIA law will be going into effect this year. Many small business will be affected. Amazingly the congress members that created this legislation decided that all children's products will have to have lead testing. This targets toys, including wooden, and clothing. This legislation includes resale items as well.

I learned about this at Happy to be at Home. There are other places that are mentioned on the internet. At Mothering there is an article. The LA Times and ABC news did a piece as well.

I cannot believe the incompetence of our lawmaking bodies. Thousands of small business owners will be going out of business and people who need to buy from resale shops will not be able to buy their children's things from these organizations. Well great for Wal-Mart! (I know lots of people like that place, but I hate it with a vengence! Long lines so people won't return things and they go around the voters to buy city governments to get their way. Yuck!) I realize that big places were once small, blah, blah, blah. Either our lawmakers are stupid or they've been bought by Wal-Mart as well. I may just go in for a conspiracy theory on this one.

Anyway, I am going to try and buy as much as I can from small mother owned boutiques through etsy while I can. You should go by and utilize a great resource to find cottage industry. There is also a National Bankruptcy Day website.

There has not been a ton of coverage on this and wanted to send up a flare.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T19:02:00.000-08:00

We haven't done a ton yet this year seeing that it has just started, but we did institute a new family practice. We are going to start reading at the dinner table. Our kids take forever to finish their meals. Peter reads a bible story and then I read a story. I read some of the Jungle Book this evening. I will continue reading this until it is done. I haven't made an entire list for the year for family reading, but I have started making a list for myself. I have started Animal, Vegetable, Miracle for now. This year I am starting out small. I want to complete 20 books. Stating this for all to see I hope will help me to keep to it. I need to do make a goal for family reading. I want it to be reasonable so I don't get discouraged. I guess 10 books would be reasonable. Now I just need to figure out what all they should be. Both Peter and I like the idea of reading classics. And I would like to add some poetry into the mix.

I am bravely going to take on reading The Closing of the American Mind, but I have been warned that it may take more than a year to complete. I also would love to read some more C.S. Lewis, and not the fiction. I also want to finish Celebration of Discipline. That's about as far as I have gotten. I should put some real thought into this.

I suppose I have just made a resolution, it seems more hopeful, not as much like a sentence as resolutions tend to be. If anybody has any ideas I would love to hear them.

2008-12-29T17:26:00.000-08:00

This is the first picture I have played with using Photoshop. I used a watercolor filter. It's my first attempt. It took much longer than expected to upload it since I saved it in a weird place. I am getting caught up on technology since I quit using it in 2000. I have spent the last eight years just getting by. I have a steep learning curve to overcome, but at least I got one picture done. I am excited to learn how to use this new software. It really helps to have someone who knows more about this that I can call. Thanks Olaf! I will get more pictures up as I slowly calm down and am able to continue to resist the urge to hurl my laptop across the room.

Christmas doings

2008-12-29T11:48:00.000-08:00

I haven't yet posted pictures from this Christmas because I got Photoshop Elements and can't figure out how to compress the pictures. We shall see how this works. So far I don't think that it has worked. I tried to make the picture quality worse, but somehow that isn't the key. It's taken a couple of minutes to try and upload one picture at low quality. I decided to make it quit. I will try again later. If anybody knows how to make it compress I would be eternally grateful.

We all had a good time this Christmas. The boys got Nerf guns from Oma and have really enjoyed having gun battles. On the wii, we got one. From Mema and Papa to all of us. Thank you so much. I think I forgot to tell you when I talked to you earlier. The boys are currently bowling. And they are interested in boxing. Maybe I should use that for toy disputes. That would be a creative use of technology! Esther got some fun books and has been busy learning to try and walk. She stands alone from time to time.

Peter is at work today. He has been putting the finishing touches on his greenhouse and is getting ready to go to abroad. He will be spending some time in Europe as well as the Middle East.

I am trying to keep everybody healthy for when school is back in session.

Fun pictures from the last couple of days

2008-12-15T09:41:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos from the last week or so. They aren't in any order.

We got some good snow the last couple of days.

The kids practiced at Logos for singing on Sunday.

On Wednesday at Logos the tables were decorated with manger scenes. This one was made in Kentucky from coal.

Making crayons with the kids. Here Micah and Samuel are helping to take the wrappers off the crayons.

Leaps and bounds

2008-12-11T11:24:00.000-08:00

Esther is growing and developing by leaps and bounds. She has started walking around the ottoman. Yesterday she learned how to say "more" with baby signs (can I get an amen!). And now she is pulling the books off the bookshelf. So far it's only half of a shelf, but it will be more within a matter of moments. Amazingly, she has cut any teeth yet! She's been teething for a couple of months now and still no teeth! I can't decide if I should be happy or frustrated. I'm ready for this to be over, but then again YOW! She is finally over the cold she got when we went to Oregon. Mostly by staying at home all the time. Well, not ALL the time, only when I don't have obligations. But she is much happier now. So it looks like I will be doing that a ton more. I prefer a happy baby even if I have to spend a lot of time alone. Another reason she is happier is that she is now being actual people food put through the baby food grinder. Somewhere she tasted salt. So that was the end of baby food from jars. It's better that way anyhow, cheaper too! So she's getting some fat along with all her other nutrients. She had spaghetti for the first time on Monday. The baby food grinder had a very nice side effect on Monday, no messy baby to put directly into a bath after spaghetti!

She is now standing at the ottoman eating puffies. And she is trying to get to my computer. Silly girl. I can't wait to play girl things with her. Don't get me wrong, I love to play light sabers, but sometimes it would be nice to play dolls. And when I say dolls, I mean dolls where the dolls stay dolls they don't turn into guns or bad robots bent on universal destruction! Next time more cool updates on the boys!

Solitude

2008-12-10T08:26:00.000-08:00

I have been reading the discipline of solitude chapter in Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. So far I am enjoying it. I haven't read the whole book right through. I know that is the way books are meant to be read, but I decided not to. Mainly because I am in a period of God-forced solitude in my life. God seems to have a purpose for it right now, so I am trying to learn why. (Sidenote, I decided to get over myself and buy a Message Bible. )

I had a really hard, lonely Sunday since Peter was out of the house most of the day. And he also took a nap when he was home. I'm not upset, just explaining being alone! The kids were sick so I couldn't go to church.

I haven't finished reading the chapter yet by any means, but the first point I have come to that I don't understand is that we are to have solitude and fellowship together. I mean that you cannot have one without the other. I completely agree with this assertion. I also know that lately have had more solitude than fellowship. On pages 97-98 he says

"Therefore, we must seek out the recreating stillness of solitude if we want to be with others meaningfully. We must seek the fellowship and accountability of others if we want to be alone safely. We must cultivate both if we are to live in obedience."

I agree completely with these ideas. I am endeavoring to be obedient, but how is it possible if a meet aloneness at ever turn.

Can we have fellowship primary through modern means? I'm speaking of telephone and internet. At this point that's what I have. I have read at couple of blogs that say we can't get all we need in terms of fellowship primarily these ways. I just wonder if that's true. Just writing this and making it real is an accountability in itself. Anybody who reads this can ask me questions on this subject whenever they like.

I have to wonder what good work God is doing in me right now. I don't question whether He is refining me or if it is good, but what exactly I am supposed to be learning right now. I think that there is a difference, and it isn't a slight one either. I show faith in believing He is holding me in the fire.

That's how far I have gotten for now.

The soul of it

2008-12-07T19:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we were making big crayons by melting the small, broken crayons. It was tons of fun. Of course Samuel loved it because he is still a destrucobot. I realize it's not a real word, but that's what he is! However, sometimes I think that he may willing to hand the title over to Esther. (As she is currently trying to destroy books!) Anyway, we were tearing off the paper and breaking them further. Micah, our talker, announced that he knew what the soul of the crayons were. It was white. Only my sensitive Micah would see things that way. We talked about it some more and he explained that white was they really were, that's how they all started. Other colors were added to change the crayons.

Thanksgiving pictures

2008-12-03T10:24:00.001-08:00

To buy or not to buy

2008-12-02T13:12:00.000-08:00

Peter and I coming down on different sides of a theoretical argument, no heated words. He wants to buy another gaming system, a Wii. (I realize that as far as this Christmas is concerned that ship has sailed, none to be found.) I have already broken my in-my-head agreement with myself that we would never have one of any kind. Which is a bother to me not to him, since I didn't tell him until the last second. I just assumed we would never have one. We have a playstation2. The boys play it together some. Mostly on the weekends because we don't allow it on school days. He wants to get it because the games are so family friendly and the boys could all play it together, which would be great. I can totally see his point, it would promote family togetherness. I, however, would prefer that the boys just play with toys and such. I really try to limit the amount of time the kids play the playstation.

Now here's the super crazy part. I don't feel like I can tell Peter this. (And by writing this will not be some backhanded, manipulating way of telling him, he doesn't read my blog.) It's not about submission, I know he would love my input and really wants it. It is has to do with him knowing more about boys than I do. I so told you it was crazy.

Reading

2008-11-24T07:23:00.000-08:00

I have been reading some more since we got back from our trip. I started with The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. The author was raised as a completely secular Jew. That is amazing even in this day and age to have no religious training at all. He says that he is open to religious ideas, but I can tell by the tone of the book that he finds belief/religion embarrassing.

I have found this book very interesting. The author calls himself a reverent agnostic. How can an agnostic be reverent? "The Agnostic suspends judgment, saying that there are not sufficient grounds either for affirmation or for denial." What is he exactly being reverent of, the possibility that there may be a God if he decided to get up the nerve to make a decision? It sounds like he wants some fire insurance. Another way to look at it is through Pascal's wager. Blaise Pascal, a French philosopher, put forth that one should live one's life as though God exists since it leaves one with everything to gain and nothing to lose. Though he criticizes Pascal, I think that is just what he wants, perhaps without the confining belief part. He wants to be able to have all the wonderful uplifting experiences that a person in relationship with God gets without having to limit himself to one idea or way of acting. In fact, I think he's just deeply humanist. Just be good for goodness sake. But he somehow doesn't get that it is God that allows for that goodness. I realize I am judging him according to a rule book he doesn't follow, but he opened the door with his question whether one can be holy just by following the Bible. Everybody breaks the rules is what he decides, which is completely true those are called sins. However, he decides that everybody who believes in God is just picking and choosing the parts of the Bible that they want to follow. He admits that he cannot follow all the rules, but explains it away that he has just started to learn about religion. I think what he is missing, most of all, about anybody who follows God is that we don't have all the answers, that it is very difficult. I find that as I get older I have more confusion about how I am to love others yet still hold people accountable. I realize that it is not all cut and dry. I think that is the main place the author and I diverge, he doesn't think anybody should be held accountable for their sins because we all sin.

In the end what this book has helped me understand is those coming from a completely humanist perspective. At one point I had hope that he would start to believe in something, but at the end he decided to use the Bible as a self-help book. I think he ended his year where he started it, completely embarrassed of religion/belief in God.

cross posted at The Book Loft

Pictures

2008-11-20T08:56:00.000-08:00

Here are some random pictures from the trip.

This is at the visitor center at Mt. St. Helens. They thought the giant mushroom was cool, so we took a picture of it with them.

This is the view from the school across the street from the wedding chapel. Talk about some blessed kids, getting to see that view every school day!

Here is Peter and Esther at the school play ground. Don't you just love that hat?!

This one is on the way home. I finally got Peter to stop the car so I could take at least one picture without the trees rushing past!

However, he wouldn't stop so that I could be a picture of the sunset, so it is blurry. This is outside of Bend.
I just love this picture I wish I could have gotten a non-blurry, in the car picture. I think it's the Three Sisters. Oregon certainly has some of God's amazing handiwork on display!

Homety, homety home again!

2008-11-18T12:07:00.000-08:00

This weekend we went to Oregon. It was so much fun! We had Christmas pictures made and went to a lovely wedding. Such a grand ole time, and interesting too. Definitely one to go down in family lore!

On Friday we had the kids pictures done. And let them run around after a day long trip on Thursday. Not much to write about there. On Saturday our plans were to go to Mt. St. Helens and then to the planned wedding.

It took a little longer to get up to the visitor center than expected so we didn't have time to drive around to other side. I think Esther may have had something to say about that! But I got some pictures from the visitor center. I found it interesting that Silver Lake, where the center is, was created from the eruption.

After our fun time at Mt. St. Helens we had to zip to the wedding. None of us were dressed yet and we had no where to get dressed. We just figured that we would get dressed at the Brookshill Historic Church. So off we went to find this diamond on a really tall hill. It is in Hillsboro, which happens to be aptly named.

The church is right across the street from a quaint school.

We got to Hillsboro late! We rushed to get dressed appropriately in the school parking lot after running down the hill (15 minutes) to get lunch. (All I can say is thank goodness for our Yukon! Crouching room!) We finally were dressed nice enough, barely, for a wedding. We ran into the church, amazingly not making a scene! Sitting down in the back of the tiny chapel, Peter and I looked at each other. We did not recognize the groom, whom we know. Somehow we were at a lovely wedding where we didn't know anybody! Peter quietly rushed out to the car to see if we had gotten the day wrong. Was it the wrong time? No, we had both correct. Suddenly, Esther began to make noise. Perfect! We were making a scene at a wedding, to which we were not invited, and drawing attention to ourselves! Peter missed the rest of the service. Which was unfortunate, it was wonderful and touching between two older folks. Including the brides sons saying "Way to go, Mom!" It was great! After two kisses and the pronouncement we tried to figure out what happened. First I talked to a guest at the wedding. He said we have a handsome family. Then, we talked to the owner of the chapel and found out that the bride for our wedding canceled four weeks prior! So Peter called someone at home to find out what happened. No the marriage wasn't canceled, just that location for the wedding. We didn't find out for another day, but it was in Kelso, WA. Much closer to Mt. St. Helens! Here's a picture of the lovely couple, I forgot to get their names!

We had plenty of fun, and even went to a lovely wedding, even if it wasn't the right one!

Inspiration, or lack thereof

2008-11-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

So Peter is interested in me decorating for holidays this year. A new and interesting plot development. However I can't seem to get into the swing of things. At Mt. Hope Chronicles Heidi has great ideas all the time. For this month she is decorating with thankful leaves. I think that is a wonderful idea considering our coming holiday. I have been scouting trees all day so that I can use her idea. I haven't found any with the large enough leaves but I am hopeful that I will find some.

I have been contemplating why I just can't seem to get excited. I been having some stress to do with the Holiday Home Tour coming up. And I am really looking forward to our family trip this weekend. (Since Peter can't take vacation during the summer we try to do stuff other times of the year.) Maybe once we are home next week I can get crazy excited.

We are going to Oregon. I am really looking forward to it. Be prepared for many tree pictures. I love trees and miss them terribly. I enjoy the feeling of disappearing while looking up into the branches. It keeps me humble!

Indescribable

2008-11-06T22:18:00.000-08:00

Tonight my Bible study group watched Louie Giglio's DVD Indescribable. I really enjoyed the sermon ideas and the way Louie showed the awesomeness and glorious works the Lord has put into being, that he is continuing to create. Louie said that according to astronomers, each second a star is born. I really liked all the astronomy, Louie used it to the utmost in showing the vastness of the universe that God has created and how infinitesimal we are in comparison.

The song Indescribable by Chris Tomlin is featured before the sermon. Some of the songs sung today seem feature our love of God, not His love for us. How could it possibly be awesome that God chose us and we love Him for it?! That is not amazing. What is amazing and powerful is that He loves us. How small and insignificant we are here on earth within the universe was clearly and eloquently displayed in Louie's sermon.

In Job 38:31-33 God named constellations and showed Job a fraction of His size. Psalm 147:4 says "He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name." That, all on it's own is a powerful statement, but the verse just before says "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds." The Lord who created galaxies, loves us and will bind up our wounds! That thought unto itself is profound to me, add onto that He sent His beloved Son to die in our place, when He created the vast universe puts me on my knees. I usually fight my emotions when dealing with my faith, I get too confused. However, this time I will probably let myself cry.

The truth of His love puts the election and all the turmoil in such stark perspective. Of course He can heal our wounds, He says so. He's the one that created the universe.

I'm in Heaven, kinda

2008-11-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

I have said that laundry is the bane of my existence. I was wrong VERY, VERY wrong! I learned just how wrong I was once I had three potty trained boys sharing a bathroom, that they did (do not) clean. Yuck to the nth degree. Does anyone have tips on that problem?

But onto my happy, happy news. We got a new washer and dryer yesterday. And they are huge. They are 4.7 cubic feet. Look how they shine.

Laundry, for now, can be once again done in a day instead of taking all week. I'm thinking of naming them. Definitely not Thelma and Louise. I haven't figured that out yet. If you have ideas let me know.

I've been cited!

2008-11-04T09:07:00.000-08:00

I have been so busy with the Holiday Home Tour tickets, for a local version of the Junior League, that I haven't been reading my daily blogs. Now that I am done, I can go back to reading my blogs everyday. My friend Megan at A Sanctuary Sought cited my blog. (Or are you supposed to say linked, hmm something to ponder.) Unfortunately, the post she cited was the one about me being in a funk(unhappy). Oh, the shame! I wish that I were never in a funk, so that a post like that couldn't be cited. But MY reality dictates that I have a hard time controlling my emotions and moods. I am endeavoring to triumph over this affliction, but this may be a lifelong lesson. I have been told I was born moody. Now that definitely puts a new spin on things. But it doesn't mean that I can't try.

This past month has been hard for me as far as moods go. It's been the ticket. I finished it, but it is not what I hoped it would be. I have spent many hours on it. I must say that I am greatly discouraged. I tried, but I couldn't make it perfect. Maybe with enough time. However, is perfection something to strive for? Trying really made it difficult for me to be pleasant to be around the last month when thinking about the ticket. I have a tendency to be negative. Yes, I know SHOCKING! My negativity really reared it's ugly head as far as Junior Club is concerned this month.

At this point, my point is that while I am trying to have joy, sometimes I fail. I know that striving for perfection really gets in the way, for me.

Thanks, Megan, for citing me! I feel cool now!

Halloween

2008-10-31T17:48:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from today. The boys went out with Peter and Reveille trick-or-treating. They were all ready to go at about 4p.m. They all had fun and only went to a few streets. They were all in a good mood when they got home, so it seems that was enough.

Here we have a Love Bug. This was last night a friends party. They had a haunted house in their upstairs. It didn't go over very well with Micah and Samuel.

We have Peter and Edmund Pevensie and Harry Potter to see us. They are all currently watching Looney Tunes. Who knew English book characters would like slap-stick comedy?

They are all ready to fight their respective bad guys. Harry is having a hard time figuring out which weapon to use.

Ah, looks like he chose the wand and is just keeping the sword handy. Where is Fawkes? Nice of him to drop the sword by so that Harry can battle "he who must not be named" as Abraham says.

We've only had a couple of trick-or-treaters so far. Hope we get some more.

Making Apple Cider

2008-10-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

On Sunday we went to a Peter's mentor's house/orchard to make apple cider. We all had a fun, but the boys had the most fun. They got to help in the making of the cider. Paul Yorty and his wife Lois have been making apple cider for years and have refined the process to make it safe for kids to help.

Here's the general idea.

You throw washed, brown spots removed apples into the grinder. Notice the grinder has that nifty, homemade hand-not-getting-ground protector. You can see the ground apples down below.

And then you smile at each other because everybody still has their hands and you are making yummy apple cider.

Next you spin the press that squeezes the ground up apples into yummy apple cider. I forgot to get a picture of it, but see the orange bucket at the edge of the fore ground. While the apples are getting pressed, you put the bucket on the ground under the press and the cider just comes flowing out.

Paul and Lois have a large orchard and sell their apples, gourds, pears and grapes. Samuel had fun looking at all the different kinds of fruit they had in available.

Of course they sell what boys don't eat. I think each boy had four or five pears.

Here is a corner of their orchard. Do you see the red thing? That's a swing. They planted all the trees along the side when they moved there 30 years ago. Isn't it just beautiful? It makes me want to live in the country kind of. They live down the road from a dairy, not the smell I want in the morning. Oh, and the diaries around here aren't small dairies. Big, 3,000 cow diaries.

Here's the horse next door. I couldn't get much closer without incuring too much sun so I kept taking pictures of it's rear. It's looking at me thinking I'm some crazy horse-rear loving person.

We made three and a half gallons just from one pressing. We been invited every year so far. If we are invited again I will get better pictures. Including, his homemade pushing the apples down device.

Being unhappy

2008-10-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.

This starts with my childhood. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to live an exciting life! I wanted to be able to dream and make them real. I, however, did not want to be a pianist. I am now an adult and that hasn't happened. I am not, nor will I ever be Col. Samantha Carter. Woe is me! I will never be fulfilled in life. I will never live my life on a RV (yes, I still think about that stuff, check out walk slowly live wildly). I knew that living in Houston forever was not for me, I needed to get out and far away. Call it rebelliousness, whatever you want, but I didn't want what my family wanted for me--to be boring, stay-at-home housewifey person. Doh! Can you hear the anger, the frustration? I blame it on MacGyver, that's it it's RDA's fault!

So there I was watching tons of TV to try and drown out the frustrations. I eventually decided that this wasn't good, so I said "be gone with you" to the TV. I found that soon after not watching TV anymore that I started to feel happier. The TV even looked longingly at me and said how can you be so without heart? I started blogging and that gave me hope. I, of course, was reading blogs of ladies who are satisfied with their lives and talk about what makes them happy. I thought to myself, what, for the love of ice cream, is wrong with me?

I was taking a shower this morning and realized that FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME I am someone to four people. I am in fact, still the most important person to them. Talk about a slow learning curve! About three minutes ago they were all in my room clamoring for my attention.

I have been unsatisfied, or maybe dissatified, the last day or so. I haven't figured that one out. I did more thinking about my underlying anger and then realized I was slowly involving my mind in something that makes me angry, but I couldn't do much about, like post. What, you say? Well, I'll tell you! I have been reading at Blogher. Oh, the shame! Let's get all the angry women and give them a place to argue, but it can't be on TV or it would be The View. (Hehe!) That's what Blogher is, at least in the politics area. So I have been subjecting myself to another way that makes me unhappy. Whoa, I just realized I have been harming myself with this stuff. Again, talk about a slow learning curve!

I realize that I need to confine myself to areas that have edifying ideas. And be around women who are happy to be at home or where they are in life. Thanks for the ear, I'll give it back eventually.

First Playdate

2008-10-21T17:25:00.000-07:00

Today Samuel had his first playdate that was all for him. He is by far my most introverted child. Esther is already showing more interest in being with other people. I think that he has had it the worst with all of our moves in the last four years. We moved four times in the last four years. That's alot! So it's understandable that he hasn't had a best friend until now. The boys run towards each other every day when they get to school. And according to Alex's mom(and me), both have spent the entire weekend talking about this playdate. As Alex was walking out the door he asked his mom when they could play again. I am so happy that Samuel has been blessed with this friend.

I just love the way boys work so hard at playing!

Getting ready for winter

2008-10-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

We have been getting ready for winter here, at least we have been outside.

Yesterday I dug up my dahlia bulbs.

Here in Idaho they have to be dug up and stored over winter at a cool temperature. I have never done this before, so I am learning. In learning about this I have discovered a wonderful thing about living in the desert, it's dry. Yes, I know that goes without saying. But when it comes to storing dahlia bulbs dryness makes everything easier. I read about how to do this online. It says that you have to be very careful not to damage the bulbs when digging them up. As usual for me, I read about this after digging them up.

Here in this picture you can see that I damaged a few. The internet page said that I did a bad thing. It berated me. It said that they would now all die from fungus. I was sad, so I talked to Peter about this since he is all knowing in the area of plants. He laughed (not at me, but at the internet) and said that it's good that we in Idaho since fungus won't grow. So now all I have to do is find vermiculite, wood shaving, or sand to store them in once they are done drying.

Next spring I will plant the bulbs again and see if they survived my manhandling of them. Peter thinks they will.

What no TV will bring

2008-10-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

We have been without TV for almost a month. For quite awhile before we canceled cable I was not interested in reading. My usual books did not inspire me in the least. I believe that I got lazy. Not pretty, but that's what too much TV will do. It makes ones mind lazy. I was fighting my kids to do the reading required by their teachers.

So after a month I have found myself in the middle of one of my readfests.(Not a word, however I have no other word for it.) I realized that I was reading at a stop light the other day. No, it was not a good idea and it was definitely unsafe, but I was happy to have that feeling again. The one where you can't get yourself out of the story and it would be a tragedy of unknown proportions if you can't finish the book before moving onto other tasks, yeah that's the one!

Interesting things have been happening around my house the last couple of days. We have all been reading. Yesterday after church while reading and holding a sleeping Esther on the couch I looked up and all three boys were sitting in front of the fireplace reading. Sorry, I didn't get a picture, because I was too busy reading. It was such a cozy atmoshpere. We had the fire on (we have gas fireplace) the dog was curled up in front of the fireplace on her pillow and the boys were all reading. Peter was reading his birthday book.

So, what book inspired this about face? Alexander McCall Smith's The No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency. It is a nice happy mystery novel with no violence and no sex. It's not hard, but it's delightful. I have since read up to number 5 in the series. I plan to read the rest before testing my brain more with more difficult fare, which is in of it.

Some interesting quotes

2008-10-07T15:04:00.000-07:00

We get God's World News Early Edition (for kids). It had a quote from each President. All of the kids have been enjoying this part, as have Peter and I. There are some that we haven't agreed with but there are others that are surprising relevant for today.

"About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."
-Herbert Hoover

"Though the people support the government; the government should not support the people."
-Grover Cleveland(Democrat)

"The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything."
-Theodore Roosevelt

"There is more selfishness and less principle among members of Congress...than I had any conception of."
-James Polk

"Philosophy is common sense with big words."
-James Monroe

There are many more, maybe I will list more another time. In the mean time I am taking care of a sick little girl. She is in the middle of her first cold and I am stuck at home as it has become windy and cool here.

I am adding a picture. I like the way the water is shown in the middle of the splash. And Peter's smile is great. He didn't know I would be including any of him in the picture, he's just smiling his lovely smile at his daughter. Do you think that's how God smiles at us?

Being Emphatic

2008-10-03T13:16:00.000-07:00

I been thinking lately about the being emphatic. I am quite disgusted with myself and the boringness(yes, I know this isn't a word, but that's what this post is all about) that my language has become. I have recently been thinking about how to be more emphatic without being boring. I was reading a post at Amy's Humble Musings and got distracted with how I would comment. In order to be emphatic without saying "really" or "quite" I thought how about toe stubbing hard. That is very descriptive, right?! Peter "edited" my recent post about Hiding and Seeking. His constructive criticism was the same as Mr. Witcoff's in 7th grade, "elaaboorate" (with wild eyes and hair, Mr. Witcoff not Peter). He was extremely good at getting his point across! I tend to get straight to the point without alot of fluff. It is not on purpose, I just have so many thoughts circling around in my head, not unlike those penny donations recepticles at malls. They go around and around and I am sure that they will go down the hole if I don't put it on paper quickly.

So all this is to "put it out there" that I am going to try to be more descriptive and bring the points I have to fruition with details and fluff included. I mean I like fluffy things, like fuzzy inside UGG boots.

An here is Esther's first "real" food. (why is this gruel called food? It's totally blech, I mean look at her face.)

Hiding and Seeking

2008-09-29T15:59:00.000-07:00

Hiding and Seeking:Faith and Tolerance After the Holocaust is a documentary that centers around one family in multiple generations. The PBS website has a good explanation of the film, much better than I could explain. But here is a VERY brief explanation of the film. Menachem and his wife, Rifka, take their two sons to Poland to discover the family history as all the grandparents are Holocaust survivors from Poland. A rabbi in Brooklyn has been teaching "hate" on gentiles. Both sons don't agree with the word hate, but don't see anything useful in the world outside their Talmudic studies. Menachem wants his sons to see the "divinity" in other peoples and the world at large.

During their time in Poland they meet the family, including two of the actual people, that hid Rifka's father. He never got in touch with them to say thank you or let them know he was alive.
"For the Daums, the encounter is steeped in unanticipated emotion — and the realization of a long unpaid debt. For the Polish rescuers, there is a kind of wistful reception of visitors long past expected."

The main thoughts that I have been tossing in my mind are about the distrust that has sprung out of the Holocaust by the younger Jews in the family to the larger world. They have the same level of distrust as their grandparents. Did the fear skip a generation? Is it true that grandparents can have that kind of influence over their grandchildren? I can't help but think that because the sons were raised in an insulating culture the words were stronger. They new nothing to contradict what they were told by their grandparents. I know that what my grandparents said, in regards to how they and their families were treated, colored my worldview. I think that it is important that I vote for those who support Israel.

Ultimately the question should be how I think of this as a Christian. Should we, as Christians, spend more time in the world or less?

Soccer

2008-09-26T14:48:00.000-07:00

Here are some fun soccer pictures from last Saturday's game. Micah was quite cold and tired, he already sat through Abraham's game. In the middle of Micah's game it started to rain and they had no players to substitute. All the boys played very hard. Abraham played really well. He even made a goal. Unfortunately, I put the camera away just moments before he scored! It would have been really fun to get a picture of him scoring a goal.

Peter is enjoying being Micah's coach. I think he may continue to coach him through out the years. Peter has been an unofficial coach for Abraham's team from time to time. Soccer has become something the entire family enjoys. We see people from other schools that the boys have been on teams with before. It's a nice community outing.

Tomorrow we have more games. I am truly looking forward to them. I can't wait until all the kids are playing soccer. We will truly be a soccer family then!

This is for Angi!

2008-09-24T15:16:00.000-07:00

It looks like color instead of just stainless steel is on the rise! I found this website and thought of you, Angi! I like the pink dishwasher. Retro is Fun!

A Greenhouse Raisin'

2008-09-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

Our greenhouse for work is getting it's skin today!

Peter really wanted to put the top on the greenhouse. Some people came to help out. The directions said specifically that it needed to be an absolutely calm day. Since we don't have any of those in the fall, Peter thought today would be as good a day as any. Too bad the directions were specific for a reason!

And the plastic is blowing Away!

Fortunately they were be able to keep the plastic in place. Now it looks like an honest to goodness greenhouse! It was supposed to have two layers but the second layer nearly blew off completely. I didn't get a picture of that because I was helping to keep it from blowing away completely!

Peter wants to put the sides up today as well. I'll see if he does it before soccer. He is Micah's coach so he can't miss the game to work late!

Some more pictures

2008-09-23T06:57:00.000-07:00

This is at Redfish Lake. It's about 2 1/2 hours north of us in Stanley. We had a great time camping.

This is Samuel's birthday party. We did a campout theme.

The first day of school. Aren't they handsome!
Esther and Reveille getting to know each other. She is such a patient dog, when Esther grabs her ears she just stands or sits there until Esther lets go.

My house

2008-09-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

You all know that the name of this blog was meant to be a play on words. It turns out I do kind of like things messy(not in perfect little packages). Take this picture of my front garden.

I realize that it should be neater, but the wildness is kind of fun. Next year it will be different, but I am really enjoying the flowers. Not a lot of people here but flowers in their front yards. Here is another picture.
We are enjoying the waning of summer weather. Too soon it will be windy all the time and no color other than brown to behold. Hope you all are enjoying your summer weather as well.

Some pictures from the last couple of months

2008-09-21T20:30:00.001-07:00

The very first one

2008-09-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

Here I am to say not much. But I had to get the first one going. I am excited to be able to keep my family from afar in touch with our daily life. And maybe one day I will have some bloggy friends. Clink..heres to hopes!